I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I just wanted to warn you I have strep throat incase I gave it to that guy we both hooked up with on New Years.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
