Can Purell be used as lube?
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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