A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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