Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
