i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
My breasts were aching with rage.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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