Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
