possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
there is glitter all over my balls
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
