Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
