oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Randomize
