dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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