just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
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