You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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