I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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