I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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