all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
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