my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
Randomize
