Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
oh god the rape fog is back!
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
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