Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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