my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
