i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
