Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Holy sore nipples Batman
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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