i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
Maybe he injected his testicle?
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
