umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
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