i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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