Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
