Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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