We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Randomize
