Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
