Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
We're too hungover to prance.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Holy shit dude........stairs
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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