i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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