No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
Randomize
