...so i touched it.
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
