Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
