paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
she smelled like a LAN party
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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