Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
