Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
