Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
