im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
