Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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