Need sex. Gaining weight.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
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