I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
