just come out here and I will go home with you...
well most of my day revolves around power hour
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
