P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
