is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
