Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
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