$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
Randomize
