why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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