We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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