porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
you will always have a special place in my vag
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
