Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
