I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
