I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
